The Kind of Change That Gives You Back Your Life

Change is a popular topic in the New Year. Promises to work out three times a week or walk 10,000 steps a day (that’s me).

But this week I was thinking of a different kind of change.

A transformational one.

Not the kind that fixes circumstances overnight, but the kind that changes where I place my focus, my responsibility, and my care.

My turning point began this way. I once stood frozen in my sadness, knowing I couldn’t keep living that way but unsure how my circumstances could ever change.

All I knew for certain was that I couldn’t do it alone.

In all honesty, my life was on hold waiting for someone else to change first.

I believed my life would instantly improve if the other person woke up to their need for change.

I prayed for it to happen, and I was angry at God when the answer didn’t unfold the way I wanted.

One morning, as I sat quietly with my thoughts, a realization surfaced that stopped me cold: change begins with you.

I was dumbfounded.  

That thought never crossed my mind.

Not because I was the only one with a problem, but because I was the only one I had any power over.

Awareness itself is already a form of change.

And for the first time in a long while, I felt a tiny flicker of hope.

It wasn’t dramatic or instant. Lasting change rarely is. It simply began with one small step.

I was beginning to understand that some burdens aren’t meant to be carried alone.

Scripture gives us a tender picture of this kind of shared support.

In the Book of Ruth, Naomi urges her daughters-in-law to return home, hoping to spare them from her hardship.

One does, but Ruth stays, choosing presence and loyalty instead of walking away.

Her words, “Where you go, I will go,” remind us that hard seasons require the strength that only comes from walking alongside someone who understands.

Sometimes the first step toward change isn’t doing something dramatic, it’s allowing ourselves to be supported.

Change comes at a cost, not because it’s harsh, but because anything worthwhile asks something of us.

But it also brings relief, dignity, and steadiness.

It doesn’t always mean big, visible decisions; it often begins quietly inside.

Change requires action and movement, like shaking off old patterns that clearly are not working and walking in a new direction.

So, my friend, what about you? Do you have that deep knowing that something needs to give?

These questions helped me when I needed them most.

o   Where in your life are you waiting for someone else to change before allowing yourself to feel steadier?

o   If change began quietly within you, what might that first small step look like right now?

Change doesn’t take your life apart—it gives it back to you piece by piece.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

 Still Her, The Journey Home