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Weekly Tip 3 Choose one small boundary that protects your energy (phone off at 9, no arguing in the kitchen, step away when voices rise). Boundaries are not punishment; they are protection. Keep it simple and repeat it consistently. One small boundary, kept consistently, builds self-trust and slowly restores your clarity.

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t the beginning. It’s when things made sense for a while, and then, suddenly, they don’t. I wonder if you thought you’d be further along by now. Maybe you took a few steps. Maybe things were finally starting to make sense, until they didn’t.   And now the fog feels close again.   If that’s where you are, I want to say this gently and clearly: You are not failing or going backwards, and nothing is wrong with you.   You’re in the right place.   Th

Weekly Tip 2 If your relationship feels lopsided, picture a set of scales and ask, “Which side is carrying the weight?” Love that is healthy has mutual care, not one-sided striving. Pick one boundary this week that protects your time, energy, or peace.

Seeing Clearly, One Pattern at a Time helps women in difficult or destructive marriages to recognize unhealthy patterns that always show up in difficult relationships. Over time they will find it easier to see the patterns by recognizing the confusion and conflict that precedes the pattern. Once they see it coming and understand the negative impact it has on them, they will be in a better place to piece together what's happening in their destructive or toxic marriage.

Weekly Tip One If you feel exhausted, write down the top three interactions this week that left you depleted. You don't need to fix them—just notice. Patterns become clear once they are named.

Change is a popular topic in the New Year. Promises to work out three times a week or walk 10,000 steps a day (that’s me). But this week I was thinking of a different kind of change. A transformational one. Not the kind that fixes circumstances overnight, but the kind that changes where I place my focus, my responsibility, and my care. My turning point began this way. I once stood frozen in my sadness, knowing I couldn’t keep living that way but unsure how my circumstances co

It Came Upon a Midnight Clear “Therefore, the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and she will call His name Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:14 NASB2020 The evening after our first snowstorm this past week, I stepped outside to take a walk. It was freezing, the kind of cold that made me pause at the door and seriously question my decision. But I looked up, and the first stars were out, set in an inky black sky.   In that still quie

Waiting doesn’t always look like doing nothing. Sometimes it looks like your whole life is quietly on hold. This morning, I’m sitting with my coffee, enjoying the dark of the early morning and the soft glow of the Christmas tree lights. The house is still. Kind. And I find myself feeling grateful, not because life turned out the way I once hoped it would, but because I’ve learned how to keep living the life I actually have. That hasn’t always come easily. For a long time, wai

Let’s sit down with this for a minute, friend. Because detachment can feel like one of those words that freezes you the second you hear it. And if that happens to you? You’re in good company. It used to happen to me, too. Today, I just want to make it practical. What detachment looks like in real life, especially if your marriage is complicated. Sometimes it helps to start with what detachment is not, because that’s where we get tangled. It’s not dramatic or harsh. It isn’t p

I want to start with a small confession. On Tuesday, when I mentioned detachment, I felt the weight of it. Detachment isn’t a little side topic; it’s tender, layered, and for many of us… It’s a lifeline. So, today I want to take my time, slow the pace, and talk about it with the honesty and gentleness it deserves. Some of you knew instantly what I meant. Some of you felt a tug in your chest and were curious. So, what is detachment… really? Let’s talk about it. Healthy detachm

What do you feel this Christmas season? Stress over wrapping that pile of gifts? A big turkey dinner? That special outfit for the work party? If you’re living in a difficult marriage, I bet you feel something quite different. I bet you feel on edge with uncertainty. Wondering what his mood will be like this year. Wondering how you’ll get through the work party without pretending too hard. Wondering if you’ll be tiptoeing around the house again - the eggshell routine you know

You know, I wasn't sure what to write about this week. But early this morning, when the house was quiet and I was sipping my coffee, my mind drifted back to a recent visit with my oldest daughter. Something about that memory stayed with me; the way she paused, listened, and offered the right words without trying to fix anything. And it made me think about the kind of encouragement that strengthens us - the kind that helps us breathe again. In last week's reflection, Taking Ho

Last week, we talked about the beauty of letting go. There’s real courage in letting go of what was never ours to manage in the first place. And when we do, a sacred process of growth begins to take root within us – preparing us for what’s next. Can you relate? I remember the day I realized loosening my grip on the unhealthy pattern of trying to fix everything gave me the freedom to take hold of myself - freedom to grow into a healthier version of me. That’s where the story r

After a season of letting go, there’s a hush that follows. The noise quiets. The striving slows. And all that’s left are the small pieces still standing. They may not look like much - a few friendships that held, a bit of faith that didn’t give way, a spark of strength that somehow stayed. But these are not scraps. They are treasures. When you’ve walked through a painful marriage, you know how much can fall away - the trust, the laughter, the sense of being understood. Someti

There’s a quiet beauty in the trees this time of year.  They don’t fight the wind.  They don’t cling to the branches.  They simply release what no longer belongs, and in doing so, they become ready for renewal. Letting go in a difficult marriage rarely feels beautiful. It feels like failure or fear. We hold on because letting go feels like giving up on love, on hope, on the story we prayed would turn out differently. But sometimes what God asks us to release isn’t the marriag

She's not gone - she's just waiting to be remembered. There comes a point in a difficult marriage when you realize you've disappeared inside someone else's life. You're functioning, you're present, but you're not you. Not the girl who once had opinions, dreams, laughter, energy, or light in her eyes. Somewhere along the way, you slowly went quiet inside. It doesn't happen in one day. It happens through a hundred small silences. You stop sharing your thoughts because i

Let’s get straight to it. Last week, we talked about what it looks like when confusion clouds your world, and how clarity begins when you stop apologizing for what you see. Today, I want to talk about what comes next: how to take the first small step toward hope when everything still feels uncertain. Because let’s be honest, hope can feel impossible when you’ve been surviving on empty for a long time. When you’re exhausted, when you’ve tried, talked, prayed, explained, forgiv

Hello again, Last week, I shared a little of my story and why I began Still Her. But today, I'd like to pause and think about your journey. Have you ever wondered if what you're going through 'counts' as difficult? Maybe you feel unseen, unheard, or even doubt your own reality. Let me be real here; many women quietly carry that same question. What you're living through isn't invisible. You're not crazy for feeling confused. Confusion is what love starts to feel like when trut

I'm so glad you found your way here. This space is created for women of faith who feel trapped in painful marriages and long to find a way forward. If you've ever felt trapped in a marriage that drains your joy, you're not alone - I've been there too. I didn't know how to move around problems, which kept me spinning in circles with no resolution. Along the way, I began to notice that many women around me were facing similar struggles; some were facing incredibly hard and even